Carus, desidero (letras de una canción caótica determinista)

How many days have slid, since your permanent cessation from this boring life?
How long has it been since I've seen your smiling face? (it's been too long)
How many years have passed by since you were right here, beside me?
How many nights have gone where you've been in, my lonely thoughts?

Do you remember me?
Are my thoughts of you lost in your dreams?
Do you think of me?
Oh, how egotistical of me...

Your eyes full of life
They filled me with such joy
Your hands, warm... never have I been... cold

Skipping on the road, no sign of negativity
Waiting in the wind, all signs singing blissfully

You have wandered, questioning the base of my faiths and possibly my ideals
You have taunted, laughing at things so serious, pondering those so unreal

Where have you gone?
I'm waiting here (same as yesterday)
Today, carus, desidero
But I don't want the reasons to be jovial

My eyes searching to find you
My lungs breathing your nepenthean fragrance
My arms stretching to feel for the sanctuary but it is useless

For you only exist in memories
Struggling down this road I am, so I can finally see you at the end
But it seems it will never end, will I ever get there...

Slowly time turns, trying to find its own identity
Patience guides me, giving me hope that it won't be in vain, this neverending expiscation

I remember your face, your smile, all your desires and
I will run, just maybe it's you who can't catch me